Hola dear reader. There were a few things that I really wanted to write about this week, but unfortunately, I chose to stick to my format and keep it to one rant, one topic. As some of you know my job involves a fair amount of customer service, which I’ve done for a bit over a decade now, so the idea of being overly polite to people generally rude is in and of itself, not a new one to me. However there has been two recent incidents in my front line trenches that have utterly urked the piss out of me, and this is not only my attempt to rant and rave about it, but if you are one of these people that engage in either or both of these two offenses, I am attempting to represent all customer service employees and tell you…. “You are a douche bag…”
Now I preface this blog with, I like my job. It’s fairly easy, no real intelligence needed so I can write and read and listen to my ipod (in the voice of Milton from Office Space) “at a reasonable volume”. I also really like the folks I work for. Some are fellow civilians like myself, but most are men and women in the military…. And behold the stereotype is true… folks in uniform are pretty rad people. At any rate, on Friday BOTH of these, what I consider to be extremely egregious, offenses occurred.
The first, I sat at my little cubicle, diligently doing my job when a patient strolled up to my desk completely disengaged in any and all of current surroundings. Since the winter months warrant the need for gloves and a hat, I did not immediately realize what the overly dressed woman, who was drenched in bad perfume, was actually doing. As she handed her ID to me, she began speaking aimlessly into no particular direction and I realized she was on her cell phone. Now since this is my place of employment I can’t readily tell this woman where she could stick her Iphone, so I continued to do my job as trained, and attempt to ignore the rudeness, even as she belted obnoxious laughs and continued on about her moronic story about some dumbass trick her dog learned. Her conversation went on for another 10 minutes despite the presence of myself and several others, including a Captain whose look of disdain reflected the same lack of patience for this cunt and the tales of her stupid dog. Eventually she left and we were all left with sweet sound of silence.
The second of the two incidents occurred in the final hour of my shift as I was preparing to leave for the day. I also preface this with this particular woman has come in several times and every time has committed this offense which probably doesn’t bother anyone but me but I consider it an attempt to assert some sort of dominance that one doesn’t have, and basically just find it unmistakably offensive. The woman approached me, striding in a superficial manner in some weird attempt to essentially prove to myself and others around that she was “someone”…when in reality..she wasn’t. Dawning the same pair of douche bag “Bono” glasses, she uttered no greeting, with no expression on her face, and slammed her ID on my desk. I felt a smirk, as if to say “who the fuck are you lady?”, spreading across my face which I believe she picked up on because her already cold demeanor seemed to turn mildly more sour, although it was tough to pick up in since she has never uttered a word to me..haha.
The moral of the story is A) Don’t be a douche bag. When you interact with other human beings, don’t be a rude piece of shit. Life is short on this little orb, so why not be a little nicer and make someone’s day go a tad better? B) No one gives a shit about your phone conversation. You may envision us thinking you have some sort of grandiose influence and importance because you are on the phone in front of 12 people at once. You aren’t. And the 12 people near you think you are a flaming bag of douche nozzles. Hang up your phone you self important butt whanker. C) Noone cares about your stupid pet and the stupid tricks you or a trainer teaches them. It’s almost as annoying as parents raving about their stupid kids peeing in the toilet by themselves. It’s not impressive. You know what is impressive? NOT talking about your pet and having manners in waiting rooms. D) Sunglasses should only be worn outside when it is sunny. Wearing them inside, especially when it isn’t even sunny outside, makes you look like an ass. And as for the accessory glasses most stylized by King douche nozzle himself, Bono, everyone should stop wearing these except for gay men, because they are the only ones who truly know fashion and can pull off any attire. If you aren’t gay, take off those stupid things. Thanks for reading. Jay AKuji
Now I preface this blog with, I like my job. It’s fairly easy, no real intelligence needed so I can write and read and listen to my ipod (in the voice of Milton from Office Space) “at a reasonable volume”. I also really like the folks I work for. Some are fellow civilians like myself, but most are men and women in the military…. And behold the stereotype is true… folks in uniform are pretty rad people. At any rate, on Friday BOTH of these, what I consider to be extremely egregious, offenses occurred.
The first, I sat at my little cubicle, diligently doing my job when a patient strolled up to my desk completely disengaged in any and all of current surroundings. Since the winter months warrant the need for gloves and a hat, I did not immediately realize what the overly dressed woman, who was drenched in bad perfume, was actually doing. As she handed her ID to me, she began speaking aimlessly into no particular direction and I realized she was on her cell phone. Now since this is my place of employment I can’t readily tell this woman where she could stick her Iphone, so I continued to do my job as trained, and attempt to ignore the rudeness, even as she belted obnoxious laughs and continued on about her moronic story about some dumbass trick her dog learned. Her conversation went on for another 10 minutes despite the presence of myself and several others, including a Captain whose look of disdain reflected the same lack of patience for this cunt and the tales of her stupid dog. Eventually she left and we were all left with sweet sound of silence.
The second of the two incidents occurred in the final hour of my shift as I was preparing to leave for the day. I also preface this with this particular woman has come in several times and every time has committed this offense which probably doesn’t bother anyone but me but I consider it an attempt to assert some sort of dominance that one doesn’t have, and basically just find it unmistakably offensive. The woman approached me, striding in a superficial manner in some weird attempt to essentially prove to myself and others around that she was “someone”…when in reality..she wasn’t. Dawning the same pair of douche bag “Bono” glasses, she uttered no greeting, with no expression on her face, and slammed her ID on my desk. I felt a smirk, as if to say “who the fuck are you lady?”, spreading across my face which I believe she picked up on because her already cold demeanor seemed to turn mildly more sour, although it was tough to pick up in since she has never uttered a word to me..haha.
The moral of the story is A) Don’t be a douche bag. When you interact with other human beings, don’t be a rude piece of shit. Life is short on this little orb, so why not be a little nicer and make someone’s day go a tad better? B) No one gives a shit about your phone conversation. You may envision us thinking you have some sort of grandiose influence and importance because you are on the phone in front of 12 people at once. You aren’t. And the 12 people near you think you are a flaming bag of douche nozzles. Hang up your phone you self important butt whanker. C) Noone cares about your stupid pet and the stupid tricks you or a trainer teaches them. It’s almost as annoying as parents raving about their stupid kids peeing in the toilet by themselves. It’s not impressive. You know what is impressive? NOT talking about your pet and having manners in waiting rooms. D) Sunglasses should only be worn outside when it is sunny. Wearing them inside, especially when it isn’t even sunny outside, makes you look like an ass. And as for the accessory glasses most stylized by King douche nozzle himself, Bono, everyone should stop wearing these except for gay men, because they are the only ones who truly know fashion and can pull off any attire. If you aren’t gay, take off those stupid things. Thanks for reading. Jay AKuji
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